Christ Eteem Part 2 : Paul’s perspective.

By Todd Tillinghast 

“The humble man because he sees himself as nothing can see other things as they are.”  Iris Murdoch

“To me who am less than the least of the saints.”  Ephesians 3:8

Now this is a very telling phrase.  Here we have a rare opportunity as we see Paul addressing himself to catch a glimpse of Paul’s personality by seeing the way he thought of himself and the terminology that he used to describe himself. A quick read through the salutations of all of his epistles reveals that Paul referred to himself in different ways at different times. 

He is known to call himself a:

-        Bondservant

-        A prisoner of Christ

-        An Apostle

-        A Pharisee of Pharisees

-        One abnormally born

-        A saint

-        Chief of sinners

-        A minister

-        The apostle to the gentiles

-        The least of the apostles

-        And here as less than the least of all the saints.

When we look at this list of  titles we may get the sense that maybe Paul had an identity crisis. These are not just role distinctions like someone saying I’m a dad an employee and a husband. These are different ways in which he referred to himself and are indicative of how he saw himself. 

Now my first gut reaction when I see or hear someone refer to themselves like this is to be skeptical.  In fact, to me it smacks of false humility. 

“Well I am the least of the least and I feel pretty good about that, why don’t you tell me how wonderful I am.” 

To be honest with you few things irritate me more than false humility.  Phrases like:

-        “Oh It wasn’t me it was all God” or

-        “I didn’t have anything to do with it”

-        Or “I’m just trying to serve”

I think we all know that most of the time when we or someone else say things like this that in actuality the opposite is true.  We are essentially saying that we want people to recognize us for being so insignificant.  “Pat us on the back and show us how proud you are of our humility please.”  

I have always thought that it’s just better to demonstrate humility not go overboard in trying to convince everybody how humble you are with your words.  Just think about this phrase from our modern understanding it’s like an oxymoron.  If you are the least of the least then doesn’t that actually mean that you are the best of the least?  “I’m a bigger servant than you are nah ,nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.” 

Well that certainly may be the feeling we get when we look at this through modern lenses but what is Paul really saying here? 

As we return to Paul’s words in Ephesians chapter three we are reminded that there is a purpose in his appellations. There were other times when Paul called himself an Apostle because he needed to stand in a place where he needed to correct such as with the Corinthians and then there were other times when he called himself a bondservant as that was what was required to accomplish his purposes of exalting Christ. 

There was even a time in Philippians: 3:4-6 that Paul proceeds to give quite a lengthy resume of all the things that he had done. He must have known that he would be criticized for bragging here but he said it anyway because his purpose in the end was to magnify Christ.  In fact in 2^nd Cor 12:11 we see that Paul is fully aware of the fact that he is boasting and says “I am fool for boasting.”  The point is that there were people who thought he was braggadocios and he knew it and there were people who criticized him and made fun of his speaking abilities (2^nd Cor 10:10).  He also had a reputation and was feared by many as “the Christian killer”, but I believe that his utilitarian use of different appellations is indicative of the fact that his titles and what he thought about himself (and subsequently what others thought about him) were not that important to him.  What was important were that his life, words and deeds magnified Christ. 

Paul wasn’t being disingenuous when he called himself “less than the least of the saints.”  He wasn’t being theatrical or practicing false humility.  I love what Calvin remarks here about Paul “This is no hypocritical declaration. Most men are ready enough to make professions of feigned humility, while their minds are swelled with pride, and in words to acknowledge themselves inferior to every one else, while they wish to be regarded with the highest esteem, and think themselves entitled to the highest honor. Paul is perfectly sincere in admitting his unworthiness; nay, at other times he speaks of himself in far more degrading language.” 

The next part of the verse helps us see what Paul understood, that he was nothing without God’s grace. It was God’s grace that was given to him to be what he was and to do what he could do.  Paul understood that he was nothing without God’s grace and if that was true for Paul as an Apostle then it is certainly true of us. 

We don’t have to compete to see who is the least or the best because the reality is that we are all nothing without His grace.  Like Paul we are all the least.  He was simply verbalizing what we should all embrace and believe and understand about ourselves not for the purpose of trying to prove to everyone how humble we are or to try to be superior in our humility but because it is the truth. 

We are so afraid to say things like this today because it would be a terrible blow to our self esteem. But I don’t believe that we will truly ever be completely free and have the healthy self esteem we are supposed to have until we understand that we are nothing without God’s grace and that we are only something because of God’s grace.  It’s not self esteem that we need but God’s grace that forms our identity.  I believe Paul’s lesson here is that in a very real sense we can come to the highest and healthiest level of self esteem when we can say I am the least and be ok with it. 

The problem with false humility is not primarily what we say but what we believe. If we say we are the least but we really don’t believe it or we are saying it just to get people’s accolades or to manipulate them then it is false humility and it is hypocrisy. But if we truly believe the truth which is that you and I and the apostle Paul and Billy Graham, never were and never will be anything without the grace of God and you say that then you aren’t being disingenuous. 

The question first for you and I is “what do I believe about myself? 

I am becoming more and more convinced that the road to real freedom is not through building up my self esteem but through emptying me of my self and esteeming Christ in me.  I’m not there yet.  I just started on the long journey but I believe there is light at the other end of the tunnel.  Please pray for me.    

Servant Leadership is not synonymous with “scared to death!”

By Todd Tillinghast 

In our ever changing and difficult world the words of Howard Hendricks ring true, “The key to leadership is endurance.”  Leadership is not for the faint at heart.  It’s difficult on many levels.  It requires the ability to manage complexity as well as deal with critics and nay Sayers.  It involves making tough decisions on a daily basis and being held responsible for the outcomes of those decisions.  It takes tough skin and a gentle heart and the ability to not allow the two to get rearranged.  A capacity to stick to the task at hand even when the accolades aren’t forthcoming and things are difficult defines the true leader.

In our overly sensitive, pluralistic, politically correct and tolerance addicted society we have emasculated strong leadership.  In our overemphasis on “servant leadership” we have epitomized leadership as something so soft and gentle that it is almost non existent.  In fact, in many places the idea of “silent leadership” is held up as the correct pattern.

The problem with this sentiment is that we have miscalculated and misinterpreted the true meaning of servant leadership.  We see the word servant and we start thinking of a lowly, mamby pamby, Casper milk toast , sniveling individual who wouldn’t dare make a decision or stand up for what he or she believes in.  So the pressure is placed upon leaders to “act like servants” which is just another way of telling them to shut up and sit down.  This is not the kind of leadership we see exemplified by Christ.  In Philippians 2:5-9 we see the ultimate picture of a servant leader.  Paul paints us this portrait of our Lord and Savior.  Yes in vs. 7 we see that He took the form of a bondservant which in biblical times meant a willing slave.  But in the previous verse we see that He did not think it robbery to consider Himself equal with God!   What does that mean?  That He knew who He was.  He knew He was God!  Even a cursory perusal of the gospels would lead one to the obvious conclusion that He was very vocal about this knowledge and understanding.  It didn’t seem to bother Jesus that people called Him blasphemous when He told them that He was the son of God.  Today we would gasp if a leader was so forthright in their understanding that God had called him or her to lead.  We would say that person wasn’t being humble.

 

Then back in vs 7 we see what true leadership and consequently true servant hood is.  It’s making ourselves of no reputation.  That was what Christ did.  In other words, He didn’t care what people thought about Him.  He said what He needed to say and He did what He needed to do.  He did say that He came to serve and that is exactly what He did.  But there were many people who believed Him to be anything but a servant.  They hated Him so much that they killed Him.  Does this mean that He wasn’t a servant?  Does it mean that He wasn’t a servant because He was confident in who He was?  Does it mean that He wasn’t a servant because He had a reputation among many as being someone who was trying to draw attention to Himself through His words and miracles?  I fear that in our modern concept of servant leadership Jesus would not pass the test.  Leadership is not for the weak.  Servant hood is not synonymous with “Scared to death” and humility does not equate humiliation. 

 If we were to be honest with ourselves many of us would need to admit that our main motive in being “servant like” is for the purpose of gaining the reputation of a servant.  How many times do we take a quick glance to see who is looking before we engage in an act of service?  Most of us play the game.  We know that the more humble we can make everyone think we are the more likely we will be considered for leadership.  So servant hood by in large has been down graded to acts of service no longer measured by heart attitudes as it should be.  So we become experts at opening doors for young ladies and mopping floors and cleaning toilets all the time knowing that we are gaining brownie points with the servant leader crowd.  

 I’m certainly not saying that acts of service are wrong.  But let’s make sure that our motives are right.  I have a sneaky suspicion that the most humble and servant like among us go unnoticed.  They may even be people that we have assumed are arrogant.  We may have no idea of how much money, time and energy they give because they do it secretly without public recognition and accolades.  We may even be surprised to realize that some of the strongest and most confident among us are also the greatest servants but because they care so little about impressing us we never even know it.  And they are content to let many of us think them to be arrogant and pompous rather than showcase their humility.  

We live in a world that is desperate for strong leadership.  Leaders who will serve, not to be recognized and applauded as a servant but who will stand up for what is right no matter what people think or say about them.  This is the true mark of humility and it is the true test of leadership.  Are you up for the task?