WHAT DO I REALLY WANT????

By Todd Tillinghast

--Socrates said “know thyself.”  Philosophy, Psychology and every great religion throughout history has understood both the importance and the difficulty of knowing ourselves.  Yet in most of this literature, one can only derive simple techniques to understand our personalities, strengths and weaknesses a little better.  Psychology has delved deeper yet into the exploration of how the soul has been shaped by past experiences and relationships. But the one question that seems to continue to go unanswered is:

“What do I really want????

As soon as we think we have arrived and we have what we thought we wanted; a great job, a great relationship, a new car, we realize that it wasn’t exactly everything we thought it would be and that that nagging want is still there.  The great “wanting” that is common to all humanity seems to be nebulous, difficult to understand and nearly impossible to satisfy. 

The question is not only what do we want or need but where do we go to get the answer?

Do we do some deep soul searching to find out what it is that we really want?  Do we really think that we ourselves are the best source for the answer to this question?  Jeremiah 17:9 says “The heart is deceitful above all things.  And desperately wicked; who can know it?”  I don’t know about you but this does not sound to me like a reliable source of information. Why would I go to a source that would deceive me and in which I cannot understand for answers to questions that are extremely pertinent such as what do I really want out of life or who do I want to spend the rest of life with?  The heart deceives us in to thinking and believing that we need, want, desire and are entitled to things that are not really important and that aren’t what God wants for us.  The reality is that we are confused and very unsure of what we really want.  We have been conditioned by society and we have been misled by our own hearts.  It is difficult to decipher the difference between our true desires and those imposed upon us by sources outside of ourselves.     

I still remember the day after we closed on our first home. On the day before when we went to the house they gave us the key for the first time and I could have leapt over the moon.  It was our house! It belonged to us!  But the next day I woke up just like every other day and two realizations hit me like a ton of bricks.  The first one was that not much had really changed.  I still had to go to work and I still had to deal with life.  And the second realization was that now I had a hefty mortgage payment every month!!  Sure we loved that house.  It was a blessing.  But it wasn’t everything and in the end it didn’t make the “wanting” go away.  Soon, as with everything else, we began to find reasons to complain.  The house wasn’t big enough or it didn’t have a great view. 

After many years of dealing with this roller coaster ride called my desires I have finally began to come to the understanding that the “wanting” is never going to completely go away this side of heaven.  It’s not supposed to.  It doesn’t matter how much money I throw at it (Which probably won’t be much) or how many accolades I obtain in life.  I may be able to temporarily satiate the “wanting” but it will never completely go away.  We were created to want something more than anything on this earth can fulfill.  The Bible tells us that we are “strangers and pilgrims” on the earth (Heb 11:13).  We are just passing through.  This is not all there is for us.

In 1^st Peter 1:3-6 the Apostle admonishes us as to what our hope should be in.  He talks about our inheritance which is incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away.  And guess where it is waiting for us?  In heaven, not on this earth, in vs. 6 he says that “In this we greatly rejoice even though for a little while we are grieved with various trials on this earth.”  This is a great message of hope for all of us longing, wanting people reaching for something that we can never quite grasp. 

Everything on this earth will fade; our good looks, our health, and our money, all of it.    Some things will light up brighter than others and some will last longer than others but in the end all things are still mere flashes in the pan.  This life is a vapor but the life to come is out of this world.  I believe that God has given us many things on this earth to enjoy and I intend to enjoy them. But I try to remind myself that I am not entitled to anything.  The people in my closest relationships, the government or anyone else don’t owe me anything.  Even if they were to give me everything I want or think I want I have a feeling I wouldn’t be happy for long anyway.  When I put my hope and trust in things on this earth I will be disappointed every time.  Temporal things cannot hold up under our demanding eternal appetites.  Thank God He has made a provision for those desires to be satiated for eternity. God give us the strength to wait on you and rejoice in what we now have as we eagerly await what is to come!!! 

Hearing God’s voice, theology and doctrine.

By Todd Tillinghast

The most important aspect of every relationship is communication.  It is the lifeblood of a relationship.  God has provided a way for us to interact with Him both through His living word (Heb 4:12) and through his still small voice in our hearts. (2 Kings 19:12)  God’s original desire and purpose was to speak to us directly as He demonstrated in the Garden of Eden through His communication with Adam but when Adam sinned that communication was damaged.  Since then, as illustrated throughout the Old Testament through the forefathers and then the prophets He chose certain men  through which to speak to His people.  We see this concept culminated in Christ the ultimate bridge of communication between man and God.  Now, through the miracle of the new birth and because of the living Spirit of the living Christ and His living word within us we can all communicate directly with the father. 

            God speaks to us primarily through the Bible which is His complete revelation to mankind.  The Bible does not make a distinction between the Spirit of Christ and the word (see John 1).  And the Bible does not consider itself to be separate from the living Christ.  It does not refer to itself as a lifeless document but rather a living document.  (again refer to Heb 4:12)  I think we run into problems when we try to make a distinction between the word itself and that still small voice that we sense in our hearts (conscience) that confirms the word that is alive within us.  It certainly becomes dangerous as history has shown us when people just seek after that voice rather than establishing the scriptures as a foundation.  Consider Mohamed, Joseph Smith and David Koresh to name a few. 

            All of the wondrous riches of God’s word which give us full access to His Guiding voice in our lives cannot benefit us unless we take the time to get His word into us.  (John 15:7)  In this crazy, harried and hurried world we live in today it always seems to come back to a time issue.  If we are too busy to really focus enough to live in his word and really connect with His living word within us then we are not going to be able to hear His voice.  It is not necessarily an issue of spending two or three hours a day in prolonged quiet times (unless of course you have the time to do that) as much as it is adopting the practice of meditating on the word continually (psalm 119:11, Joshua 1:8)  and praying without ceasing (Eph 6:18). 

            We do need to hear God’s voice everyday.  We would not dream of not speaking with or listening to our spouse, children or even our dearest friends on a daily basis.  Even more so we need to be in constant communication with God. 

            Part of having God’s word alive in us is to understand how to interpret His word correctly before we try to apply it.  It is essential that we understand the theology and doctrine of the Bible.  Many people at this point when we start discussing theology and doctrine tune out thinking that it is better to leave that dry and boring stuff to the theologians but this is certainly not the case.  It is not a dichotomy.  We cannot see theology and practical application as two separate things.  We have the tendency to compartmentalize these two categories.  Theology, we think, is for the seminary and real life application is for church and small group Bible studies.  Never the two shall meet.  Paul did not do this.  He moves seamlessly through His epistles from theology and doctrine to application not making a differentiation but demonstrating a natural progression.  Interpretation skills are part of having the word living within you.