The Tillinghasts Panama Update - December 2009

Enjoying an Imperfect Christmas

Christmas can be as frustrating as it is wonderful.  While it is usually the time of year when we reunite with family and friends that we don’t get to see very often and there seems to be holiday cheer  in the air it can also be a season in which the negatives are magnified as  much as the positives.  The problem seems to originate from the tendency we have to put too many expectations on Christmas.  We build it up to something that it can’t possibly be or fulfill in our lives.  The disappointments are that much more poignant at Christmas time.  The phone call that never came or the person who elected to not come to the Christmas party is more painful than usual.  There is the hope and the expectation that maybe, just on Christmas things will be different and sometimes they are, but sometimes they get worse because of unrealistic expectations. 


And, doesn’t it seem like there is much more pressure to get the Christmas dinner right than any other dinner?  Or the constant dissatisfaction with the gifts and the frustration of knowing that the person you are buying for is going to be dissatisfied.  It can seem that at Christmas the lack of relationships resulting in our inability to know what each other really want is highlighted.  And, how about those crowds?  Most of the people waiting in line at malls don’t look like they have much holiday cheer.   And last but not least is that sinking feeling on the evening of the twenty fifth that “it’s all over in a few hours.” Or the nagging question of “was it all really worth it?”


Although Christmas is certainly a season for putting on a plastic happy face it can also have the unique ability of revealing who we really are.  We can see our priorities in the gifts we buy, the kind of gifts we buy, who we buy them for and who we don’t buy them for.  Family gatherings also have a way of revealing to us how people really feel, especially at Christmas.  “Did they show up?”  “Why didn’t they show up?”   “Why aren’t they talking to anybody at the party?”


At the very least, I think that all of us have experienced the disappointment of having the day of Christmas that we have planned, hoped and saved for all year arrive and dissipate faster than tinsel melting on an open fire.   


Yes Christmas can be “the most wonderful time of the year” as the popular carol quips but it can also be the most frustrating time of the year.  Can you imagine that as a song?  “It’s the most frustrating time of the year!!!”  The point is that if Christmas is just about the eggnog and fudge and gifts under the tree or even family, then it surely runs the risk of not being fulfilling.  The true meaning of Christmas is much simpler but yet much more profound.  It is simply about God becoming man in order to reach His people because He loves them so much.  It’s about humility not hustle and bustle. 


The God of the universe was born in a manger.  It’s about simplicity not complexity.  The story of that First Christmas was very straightforward and powerful.  It was simply and majestically about Him the Kings of Kings and Lord of Lords.   Without Christ, Christmas is just another day.  Rejoice this year in the true reason why Christmas is so wonderful.  God became one of us to be near to us and to save us because He loves us. 

“Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.” Matthew 1:23

Reflections on a Christmas Wedding

by Todd Tillinghast


Oh I love Christmas weddings. What a perfect time of the year to celebrate the union of two people becoming one. It was that first Christmas over two thousand years ago when Emmanuel (God with us) became flesh and demonstrated for the first time the ultimate union of man and God which would later be celebrated in Ephesians chapter five as a Spiritual union between Christ and His bride the church. And Paul uses the analogy of marriage to drive the point home.


As I prepare a wedding ceremony for this Saturday my heart rejoices once again at the beauty of relationships especially marriage and the significance of it in light of Christ and His church.


In April of next year my beautiful wife Marielena and I will celebrate ten years of our union. It hasn’t always been easy. In fact, there have been times when it has been down right difficult and painful, much more so for her I can guarantee you. But one of the principles that have personally strengthened me in my commitment to make things work over the years has been this idea of what marriage represents for the Christian.
Not only is it important in that it is foundational to our society and because out of it is generated the propagation of the Human race, but for the Christian, marriage is also about being a living example of Christ’s relationship with his bride the Church. So to love and cherish each other when we think of it in those terms takes on a whole new and glorious meaning. When people look at a married couple and they are able to witness the love, submission and commitment to one another they aren’t just experiencing a beautiful relationship but they are also catching a glimpse of Christ’s love and commitment to His people.
I want to take a quick look at a few verses in Ephesians chapter 5 that I believe are the most beautiful ever penned about marriage. Starting in (vs. 21):
“Submit yourselves one to another as the fear of God
The very reason why we mutually submit to one another, respect one another and love one another is because we first have submitted ourselves and our marriage to God.
Wives, show reverence for your own husbands, as unto the Lord ( vs. 22)
Wives, God have not called you to submit to every man on the planet but to submit to and to respect your own husband. God has called him to be responsible for you because he loves you. There is safety in that submission and respect. One of the greatest needs a man has is to be respected.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church and He is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own Husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wife, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it. (Vs. 24 and 25.)
Husbands, these are powerful words for us! We are to love our wives. The first, foremost and greatest need of a woman is to be loved. However, we are not to just casually love our wives but to give up our lives for them as Christ gave up His life for the church. We should be first to make sacrifices and lay our wants, needs and even our rights down for her when necessary.
It’s not a mistake that Paul describes our marriage relationship with Christ as an experience that is not individual but rather one which is experienced within the context of a community. I am not the bride of Christ; we are the bride of Christ. When I perform a marriage ceremony I like to take a moment to address the audience. I ask them as the witnesses of the union to also make a vow that they will not interfere with the marriage but support it and guide it. Marriages like churches exist within a larger context of community.
At any rate, I am looking forward to another opportunity to celebrate the glorious union of two people as they become one flesh in the Lord. And I am thinking about how wonderful it is during this Christmas season that God became flesh and initiated a love relationship with us as His people that culminated in us being joined to Him as His body and married to Him as His bride the Church.